Day 23 - I Don't Like Mondays

The silicon chip inside her head
Gets switched to overload.
And nobody's gonna go to school today,
She's going to make them stay at home.
And daddy doesn't understand it,
He always said she was as good as gold.
And he can see no reason
'Cause there are no reasons
What reason do you need to be shown?

Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
Tell me why?
I don't like Mondays.
I want to shoot
The whole day down.

So I'm a Boomtown Rats fan, at least when listening to this song.  I don't think I downloaded many others on my MP3 player, but I really enjoyed that song today.  I sometimes wonder how much the camera picks up in the exercise area, cuz they would have seen me jamming to my music as I was walking.  LOL I didn't sing though, people walk through there.

I ended up skipping my afternoon snack, I was just too full after drinking all of my water.  The water is much easier, I was done my gallon of water by 4, that's not counting the tea I had around 4:30 because I was still kinda thirsty and wanted something other than water.

Dinner was whole wheat spaghetti, shrimp, and mushrooms, then I had a half a tomato sliced up with salt.
Lunch was a scrambled egg sandwich and yogurt
I'm getting ready to have a 100 calorie ice cream bar for evening snack.

I know I was a bit light on fluids yesterday.  With visiting at the grandparents house, I didn't get everything in.

At work, I felt guilty that I didn't get as much done last week as I had planned.  No one said a word and I realized they understood that I had a full plate just covering everyone else's stuff while they were gone.  Even the system updates and customer service requests took a lot of time.  I always do my best, just sometimes my best isn't as good as it could be because of other circumstances.  Like the holidays and one of our internal 'customers' griping about me not getting something done.  He sent me 4 projects that took approximately 6 hours each and I was supposed to do other work in between.  Yea, November doesn't give me enough time to do it with all of the meetings and such that we had.  He can gripe all he wants.  Honestly, he's lucky he works with me instead of one of the other girls who would take longer at doing these projects if she ever got to it at all.  Guess he'll figure it out when I move to FL.  He's never happy anyway, that's just who he is and my manager knows this.

It dawned on me after reading another friend's blog, she was talking about just feeling 'blank.'  That describes me too since Friday.  I feel blank.  I don't know what to write about, I don't even like some of what I wrote previously on here.  My life isn't all that bad, though I'll admit I did exaggerate by saying that my husband can't keep his hands off me... most of the time he can, but I still know he loves me.

I just feel invisible lately.  Honestly, other than a few internal emails, sometimes I feel like no one even notices I'm around.  It's not necessarily a bad thing, and I do somewhat reinforce the idea by wearing my headphones to drown out the extraneous noise and the woman who cannot seem to get the concept of an inside voice.  She's been written up for talking too loud, but still does it.  But sometimes I feel like I need to gripe and focus on the bad to make my voice heard.  Now that I've been listening to uplifting music and keeping my resolution of focusing on the good at work, it's hard.  When I stop focusing on the bad, I feel like I have nothing to say. 

Looking back on the last year, last year was awful financially, but I still tried to give where I could.  I bought Easter candy for the church, school supplies for their back to school drive, and a few other things... this year, we're so much better off, but I still focus on the things that I can't yet change, as if something has magically made these things unacceptable.  We no longer have 5 people in a 2 bedroom apartment.  My sister in law has turned around - I mean a total 180 from where she was a year ago, when we were constantly fighting with her because she was a drunk and a drug addict among other things.  Our car is paid off and we've made a dent in what we owe according to our credit reports.  Yea, we still have shitty credit, but that's another thing that takes a long time to fix.  Even if we won $1mil and paid off everything we owed anyone, we'd have shitty credit.  We're much closer to moving to FL than we were a year ago, since we have money in the bank in savings.

So why complain about the few material things that I'm unhappy with?  It's honestly not all that bad.

I think we need to go down to the city this weekend (OKC) just for a change of scene.  I suspect that part of my problem is being stuck in a town where there is nothing to do.  I need to find a kids museum and go have fun.  Or go to the skating rink, tho I have to rent skates because my rollerblades have a little nut that sticks out and I can't take them to the rink.  Maybe we should do some bowling.  We need to do something other than sit in this house for another weekend.

On the other hand, right now it's bed time.  I kept stepping away from this window to do other things.  In the time I've been writing it, I've gotten my snack, watched the new SyFy show 'Being Human' several times and logged into Facebook.