I had a big post written yesterday, but forgot to hit send. It was just one of those day, my car even started acting up on me. Its better today, so all is good.
On the other hand, my plan for food yesterday fell flat. I'm picking myself up and starting over again today. The scale isn't heading up, but its not going down either. I just need to sort through my feelings. I'm worried about Justin's grandfather, he had a stroke on Monday or Tuesday. Thank God, Justin is there to help his grandmother, but it just means he stays that much longer and I miss him so much.
Doing this parenting thing alone is not fun and I just need him around even if the kids weren't always crying for him. I've been tempted to eat because I'm lonely. I don't understand it, I've been single before and I never felt like this... Of course I had money to do things, and didn't have 2 young children who were always crying for someone else. Instead I had one who was mostly happy with being with me instead of his father.
Plus we've had a rough few years, and I'm still stressing over money. We spent too many years without enough money for basics. Its embarassing to have had to ask Justin's grandparents for a 'care package' of food, or money for gas. At least I should be able to make enough here... If I ever get another job. And he should be able to get something too, unlike where we were.
Weight this morning, 193.8 lbs. Right about the same as I've been weighing at. Yes, its up a bit from Saturday, but I think that's water weight from spending the day in my brother's truck. In the heat.
I'm at the warehouse, so I'm thinking about walking around the building. I'm wanting to fall asleep even with Puddle of Mudd blasting in my ears.