Monday, February 28, 2011
I did sort out what I'm doing tomorrow... They're ordering pizza for lunch, I was thinking that I was going to eat the menu plan day with cheese pizza, but I honestly don't care for the pizza they're ordering (it's sold in the convenience stores around here, I think it's Hunt Brothers or something like that). I think I'm just going to find which day I want, most likely one of the low carb ones since I now have whole wheat English muffins. Dinner will be an order of steamed broccoli with nothing on it except for salt. I want to say I'll drink diet soda, but then I'll be up all night, so I'll have to figure out what I want to do. After I get home, I'll have whatever is actually on my dinner plan minus the veggie. Though I really was half looking forward to a peach smoothie, so I'm waffling a bit. I'll decide for sure tomorrow, but it's all good. I'll either eat 1/4 of a 12" cheese pizza or I'll have my own food. I'll definitely bring salad with dressing and the appropriate snacks for that day. Dinner is going to either be iceburg lettuce or steamed broccoli. I'm really leaning more toward the lettuce since it's almost 0 calories and I can be sure there's nothing on it. Maybe I just need to choose another day with peach for a snack and forget about the pizza. If I have to, I'll eat before I go...
It's late and I'm tired. I'm going to bed and I'll make my final decision in the morning. Allan was right, though. I don't have to have anything. My boss noticed my weight loss (she's been gone for 2 weeks) and she understood fully when I said I don't want to ruin it by eating off plan. Laterness and g'night.
I brought lunch for day 2. I'll live. I'm not crazy about much of it anyway... The little smokies and enchiladas and carrot cake are the hardest. But I'm not hungry. Water and more water.
Sunday, February 27, 2011
They're talking Mexican food on Tuesday night. Unfortunately, I can't get out of going. It's going to be a rough night, sitting there without having any chips. That's so my downfall. Just like the funnel cake I saw when I walked the mall yesterday. Oh that was so hard, walking past that twice and seeing the sign. Not to mention the bakery type place in the food court with 2 big display cases with all the sweets. O.M.Gee. I had everything I could do to walk past those places.
So, plan for Tuesday. I want one ahead of time. Tomorrow... I'll have a turkey sandwich and a salad. Yummy and on plan. Tuesday.. hmm I could do one of the low carb days, but I don't think a fajita dinner would be considered on-plan even without the tortillas. I'll go through the days slowly tomorrow. Right now, it's really late. The only reason I'm still up is that the duckie boy is up coughing and puking again. I'm so exhausted, work is going to suck tomorrow. I may resort to an energy drink. The sugar free ones are 5 calories for 8 oz, which isn't any more than the Coffee-Mate in my coffee.
I'm gonna try to get some sleep. Laterness and g'night.
Weigh in this morning had me very happy. I lost 4.2 lbs this week. I've finally hit 20 lbs down. I am impatient to get out of the 220's now. I'll post more later, after I eat. I'm starving. I haven't eaten anything since breakfast, and that was more than 3 hours ago, and was only a small bowl of oatmeal.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
I got a friend request today from someone that I just didn't expect. I'm going to have to watch what I say about the MUD on Facebook now because a dear friend's brother sent a friend request, and I don't think he knows his brother MUDs.
Food was on plan, though I'm not sure about going to church tomorrow, the duckie boy was running a fever and the kittie girl had a headache today. Headed to bed early though, since I had planned on a nap but never got it today. Not much to say tonight. The weekend is passing too quickly. Weigh in tomorrow morning. I already know I'm at least 2 lbs down since I was at 224 on Friday. That is, if the scale doesn't play tricks on me. Laterness and g'night.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Work... well it's not going to change. One of my coworkers in Cinci was very rude today, talking like she was my boss, but I wrote back very politely telling her that we did things exactly how the manager said to do it. Pretty good considering I lost my temper when I first got the email. She's got the same job title as I do, so she wasn't the one to be telling me what to do. A request is the best way to get what you want from me.
I still need to exercise. I'm planning on doing the exercise to the Walk Away the Pounds video again. Justin and the duckie boy joined me for lunch, so I didn't walk on the treadmill during my normal time. Gonna go to bed early. Laterness & g'night
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Allowing a quiet evening lull
At the end of the day.
The day got away from me today. I ate at 12:30 or so, but the next time I looked up, it was 2:30 and I hadn't actually clocked out for lunch. The work is starting to snowball (or avalanche), and it's only going to get worse. My boss doesn't like to disagree with anyone and always has a 'can-do' attitude. As in we can do it. Whether or not it means dropping everything else we're working on, including projects for one of the two men who founded the company, or projects for customers. He was in yesterday complaining no one pays attention to him any more. Not a surprise since they don't run the new company the same way he ran the company.
It would have been easier for me to do all of the work we were given, and let everyone keep doing their projects, but the others need to learn how to do it. Especially since I'm still planning on moving. I've got a pounding headache still. Oh yea, and the duckie boy is awake but I need to do my strength exercises. I'm going to have to find a different time to do these. It's hard because tonight Justin went to the mall to walk for a couple of hours after dinner so I didn't have any time to do anything. He didn't get back until after the kids went to bed and I was rocking the boy. Just wish I could get him to sleep through the night on his own. I finally put him in bed with Justin so I could get some stuff done.
More work with GIMP and I've found a few things I don't like about it, but I may just need to get used to it. I got the first site designed, though I may need some buttons done. I'll have to figure out how I want to do the site navigation. Feeling more relaxed than when I first got home at least. Gonna get some sleep to try to prepare myself for tomorrow. Laterness and g'night.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
I want to head to bed early, I hope it'll help with how tired I am. Food was on plan today, water was good. I walked on the treadmill. All in all a productive day that will be topped off by starting to come up with an initial design for my design site. I'll have to look for some free clip art. If I can't find what I want, I have an artist box in the other room. One with mostly pencils and one with crayons, markers, water colors, etc. I bought a small one at Christmas for my kittie girl and a bigger one for myself. I love to draw, like I love to write fiction. LOL I also love to knit or crochet, which a dear friend of mine from the MUD can't believe.
It's not going to be fun next week. There are people coming from the other 2 companies that were involved in the merger last fall. Three girls are from Orange City, Iowa, one is from Cincinnati. We have a pot luck on Monday, then will be eating out a lot later in the week, both for lunch and dinner. I'm going to try to cry off on a lot of them because I don't want to leave Justin home alone with the 2 kids all week.
Initial impression, I like GIMP so far. I definitely like it a lot more than I did when I tried it in '98 when I worked for the wireless ISP. It has a lot of patterns for fill, though eventually I'll want more. I can find lots of free patterns on the web. I forgot how relaxing it is to design. I'd better go to bed though. Laterness and g'night.
Justin called, the school wants the kittie girl to work with a speech therapist. We need to go in on Friday to sign the paperwork. That's one thing off my mind at least.
Been talking to my sister today about another online course I want to take. I need to start increasing my writing income since the other I was doing dried up. Yes, I can figure out copywriting but I'd love to have a course to walk me through it anyway. I think I'm just going to figure it out myself after I redesign my 4 websites this week LOL.
Anyway on the treadmill now. So laterz
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
I almost forgot the strength exercises until I started posting. The duckie boy won't sleep so I've had to rock him a lot tonight. Makes it fun to try to get my exercise in. Right now he's up crying for the 4th time tonight. No coughing, just up crying.
I was daydreaming today about taking the kids to Branson for spring vacation. I think they'd both love some of the shows and definitely Silver Dollar City and the petting zoo there. It's not going to happen but it'd be nice. Someone asked tonight if I wanted to move back to Branson. The answer is not really, but a part of me wouldn't mind it. I could freelance web design with no problem and there's tons to do and even more shopping. But it's not close enough to my family and they have the shopping near them too. I wouldn't mind spending a week in Branson tho. Another two weeks in DC and one in NC where I used to live... there'd be lots for the kids to do.... once they're a bit older.
Sounds like the boy is asleep. Laterness & g'night
Maybe I’m thinking of this person because the last time I seriously lost weight was when I was with him. The last time I seriously lost weight, I almost got down to 200 lbs, and he told me he had been thinking about leaving. He started spending every other weekend at the house of his high school girlfriend (obviously an ex), and told me he never got over her but that all he did is kiss her once and cuddle with her, that he didn’t sleep with her.
I’ll admit, there are times that I’ve been tempted to leave Justin. He’s been unemployed three times in the almost 7 years we’ve been together. He hasn’t received unemployment any of those times. Each time I’ve been the primary wage earner. But, I made a choice, and I’m with him for better or worse – unless he leaves me.
Yet a very small part of me worries that Justin is going to want to leave when I get to almost 200 lbs. It’s the same part of me that lived with an abusive husband (not X, my Marine’s father) for almost 5 years, even after he threatened me with a knife. The part that wouldn’t let me leave until it was my online friends from the MUD convinced me that I needed to leave. The part of me that believed that I’d never find anyone after I left that ex because that’s what he told me time and again. The same part that still won’t let me be happy 15 years later, no matter how much counseling I’ve been through. The part that is probably the reason that I’ve never been in a relationship that’s lasted more than 5 years.
So far, food is on plan (day 3 meal plan). Water is only at 48 oz and I’m uncomfortably full considering I haven’t eaten my lunch. I’m getting ready to get another 16 oz of water. Writing everything out put things into perspective. Part of me still thinks Justin will leave me or something will happen to him and I’ll be a single parent again, but I can deal with that. It’s been my fear since I had my kittie girl and Justin went in the hospital for chest pains at the age of 32. Another part of me feels like we’re less important than whatever crap he wants to put in his mouth. Yet he’s eating healthy with me, exercising, trying to lose weight and take his medications. It’ll all work out as it’s supposed to I guess.
Now to figure out what to do about my job - or a job I like better.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Back to the fight, he's stressed about money. I'm stressed about money. I went to the store for WIC, called at 6:50 after being gone most of an hour. I asked if dinner was ready, and he hadn't even started cooking. Then he gets mad at me for asking him to work on dinner. He had been exercising. That's great, but he could have started dinner and kept exercising instead of getting mad at me for asking him to start dinner right away because I was hungry and wanted to eat before 8 pm.
For the new food plan, I'll have to figure out what's available at different stores. The local Walmart downsized their food choices. I looked for low fat cheese at the grocery store, and all I found was cheddar made with 2% milk. No low fat provolone. So, I'll look at the grocery store that has the most choices, and I'll look at Walmart, then I'll have to figure out acceptable substitutes and email Allan to be sure that they're okay. I'll just have to do the best I can with what I can find and what I have. I didn't see much for 100% wheat English muffins at this store either, though I've seen Wasa bread there. I did find some low calorie whole grain English muffins, 100 calories for one... the same as the flat buns I like so much. I didn't see any whole wheat English muffins at the bread store either, but I'll look again.
I'm feeling better about the money situation. I think we'll still be able to move with the money we have saved and the money we get from our taxes. Justin is sure he can stay with his grandparents, and the kids and I will stay with my parents in FL until I find us a place. I was worried we'd have to pay for the apartment still while I was down there looking for a place for us. I'm also considering applying for a writing job for About.com. They have a topic open for Assistive Technology for those with disabilities. Since my dad was deaf, and my stepdad and 2 of my half brothers are legally blind, I'm rather familiar with some of those devices. I'd love to research more since deafness runs in my family, and my sister's son might have hearing problems. Or my kids' kids since daddy was born deaf. Of course it'll be a few years yet before I have grandkids. My Marine isn't planning on it for awhile since his girl is a Marine as well. She's not even sure she wants kids, but she's young yet.
I forgot to eat my apple, and I'm not going to eat so late. I also forgot the green beans with dinner since the potato filled me up so much. Still trying to make sure I eat all of the veggies and fruit on my plan. I want to be sure that I'm healthy. I'm still tired a lot, so I'm trying to focus on taking my vitamins and eating a balanced plan. Of course the tiredness might be that my thyroid is still out of whack. (I never did figure out that phrase, though I've used it occasionally. I saw someone ask once what being in whack was since out of whack was bad). I'd love to start on the low carb menus, but I don't have everything I need and won't until Friday at the earliest unless I raid one of the machines for quarters.
Not wanting to go to work tomorrow, though I did very good today at staying on task all day. I had to work on fixing stuff that IT broke because they made changes without running a check first. They retrieved out of date information and now a number of our products are listed as made at a different plant than the one that actually makes them.
I need to start bringing old baby clothes to work, one of my coworkers has a daughter who is pregnant and living with him and his wife. She's no longer with the baby's father and is going to school so she can get a good job. I've got a ton of clothes that I put aside for my sister, but never sent to her because she got even more clothes from the baby's father's family. I've also got a diaper genie that I need to clean out and give away, a play mat and a few other things that I'd like to clear out of the house. Unfortunately, I gave away the baby bathtub. Oh well, they're not that expensive. I told the coworker I had been planning on giving them to the local thrift store but would give them to them instead, and he said that'd save him from having to pay for them once his wife saw them at the thrift store. LOL
Anyway, Being Human is done, Warehouse 13 is done. Not in the mood to watch Without a Trace, so it's off to bed. I think this post has rambled enough for the night. I can't seem to stay on one topic. Hopefully the duckie boy sleeps through the night. Laterness and g'night.
I don't know what I can do about the new days I have to follow this week though. I guess I wait til I get paid on Friday, though money will be tight again next week, especially with rent and the bills we have to pay. We're going to have to dig into the moving fund again. This truck repair is draining our finances and I'm a bit scared about what its doing because if I don't increase our income we'll be stuck here forever. No money to travel no money to move. Okay, with the way work is going, more than a bit scared. Apparently sales are down since the merger.
I'm dreading next week since we'll have people here from Cinci and IA and will be eating out a lot. Just more to look forward to. Blah.
Walk done. I'm starving so eating tonight's salad now. Forgot my apple, I'll eat that later.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
I'm following the plan, but I'm not going the extra mile, as my weight loss for the last 2 weeks shows. Yes, I lost 1 lb this week, which isn't bad considering I'm sure I'm retaining water this week. I'm not sure if my thyroid issues are slowing things down, but honestly at 2 lbs a week, there's no way I'd be able to meet the goal I was given for the challenge. So at least some weeks I should be losing more than 2 lbs a week. I'm not counting last week's weigh in because the week before was no loss, when I had stayed under 1400 calories all week - the week after Allan dissolved Phase 4 and before he started Phase 5.
Today, on plan. Water was great. I walked to the store around lunchtime. And to top off my weekend, I get to watch Wil Wheaton on Criminal Minds =) This episode creeped me out the first time I saw it. It's one of my favorites in a series that I love. Now I get to watch Wil's character get hit by a semi.
This weekend didn't go as planned, but I got a nap early this evening. I cleaned the kids' room a bit, though it needs more cleaning - I threw away almost a full kitchen trash bag full of broken toys, and ripped papers. I also threw away 2 items that I probably could have fixed, but I know myself and I know they'd just sit there unwearable, staring at me. I feel guilty throwing them away. I normally give them away, but didn't put them in the bag of clothes I'm giving away on freecycle after I go through her clothes again with her help to pick out the clothes she'll wear.
I need to get some sleep, my goal is to try to go the extra mile at work this week and stay out of the drama as much as possible. It's going to be hard. I don't want to be there. I don't know that my taxes will be enough to get me out of there, the return is lower than I had hoped, and that's before the injured spouse claim that I have to file. I will need a couple months' living expenses even once I'm in FL. All I can do is keep moving in the right direction, and pray that I can get out of a job that gives me headaches and has me coming home cranky every day. I am working on putting it behind me when I leave the building, and I'm doing better at it.
Time to get some sleep. Laterness and g'night.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Food, okay today. I had planned on whatever day it is with pizza because I figured that'd be the easiest when traveling. I could bring my sandwich, carrots and fruit and eat as needed. So I stayed on plan since I had pretty much everything packed except for the pizza which I made homemade again this week.
I'm tired tonight. I didn't really get to sleep in, and was up late last night rocking the 2 kids. Tonight its just the duckie boy. He's coughing again. Makes it hard to blog for sure. Laterness and g'night.
Friday, February 18, 2011
I'm supposed to go to a Dave Ramsay thing tomorrow with people from church, but I'm having trouble finding out when they're leaving. We don't have a 2nd car, I can't drive myself. I'm going to keep trying to get more information tomorrow, but I don't know what to do if I can't find out. I can't get down there, though I've already paid for the ticket. It's frustrating because I really wanted Justin to go to this, but we can't find a sitter. Exactly why I want to be near my family.
Guess that's it for tonite my lap is full with 2 kids who had nightmares. Laterness & g'nite.
Still feeling sorry for myself and in a funk. But I'm doing what I need to. I'll get through it. Exercise done. Stupid biweekly meeting done (nothing to do with us really except to find out we're getting more work dumped on us). Drinking the second half of my smoothie and getting ready to put my headphones back on.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Everything on plan, I'm just ... work is getting worse. There were 2 supervisors under my manager. They both had to re-interview, for only 1 job. One of them got the job, the other didn't. So there's unbelievable tension in the office and hurt feelings and taking sides. I'm trying not to take sides, so I need to replace my headphones so I can live in my own little world. As long as I get my work done, I hope it won't be a problem.
Having a pity party tonight. A lot of stuff going through my mind. Not entirely able to put it into words yet, but I will manage it eventually. I still need to get my strength exercises in then I'm going to bed. The duckie boy has been up the last 2 nights and I've fallen asleep with him in the recliner, so I didn't get much sleep.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
It's going to be a very long day. Websense is messed up again at work, which prevents me from doing certain parts of my job. Plus, one of my coworkers is out until the 28th and I'm her back-up. There are 2 people in the department that I back up, but when I'm out it takes 2 people to back me up. Go figure.
I'm going to need to buy new headphones this weekend. I managed to break mine.
I'm whiny and so not feeling like walking today. I'm doing it because I know I need to, but I don't wanna. I feel like throwing a kicking and screaming fit like a little kid. I'm wearing a pair of the jeans that almost fit today. They so match the shirt I wanted to wear. I'm wearing shades of green. Yesterday was black and gray.
I kinda hoped my mood would get better after the exercise, but still feeling pissy and whiny.
Ok, now I'm caught up to what I managed to type into my phone before I left work.
I finally figured out why my attitude was so bad other than the crap that's going on at work. I exercised after eating the cottage cheese and crackers, but didn't eat the rest of my lunch. Kinda hard to do it all on day 11's food without eating all of my lunch. I felt better once I had the canned fruit and broccoli. I wanted to pig out on the sirloin for dinner though. OMG. so good. Of course, I realized tonight that I had forgotten the morning snack.
So yea, lotsa drama at work. Two supervisors, one position. One got the job, one was told she had a job in the department doing 'special projects.' There's a lot of sour grapes, and griping about the way the boss backstabs and says everything was her doing even if it was done before she started in the department, blah blah blah. It matters, but it's not going to make a difference to the vice president type person in charge. Several people told this person that the department manager lied about things, including how long she was with the department, but she didn't care. I just need to hurry and get my taxes done so I can give my 2 weeks notice. I'll be asked to do more, but honestly I don't feel the loyalty to do that. I don't want to burn bridges, but from the way they've behaved, if I give my 2 weeks' notice, and they find someone to replace me, they'll just shove me out before my 2 weeks are up.
Anyway, I was up late last night with the duckie boy. He woke himself up coughing last night and I ended up sleeping in the recliner holding him. Gonna get some sleep. Laterness and g'night.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
It's kinda funny tho. He used to hold the door for me when we were getting in the car. So polite. Now, not so much. Almost 7 years later, and some days I barely get a civil word from him because he's stressed over this or that, or even with dealing with the kids throughout the afternoon. I've resorted to telling him to take a higher dose of the Prozac the clinic put him on to help him quit smoking - or else just 'take a chill pill.' An old phrase, but it gets my point across when I get fed up after a long day at work. I guess I can't complain, he does make dinner for me and wait on me a bit more than most husbands. Just sometimes I like to cook for myself, and everyone always loves my cooking. The duckie boy ate 3 pieces of pizza to my 2 on Saturday. With whole wheat flour in the crust.
Everything is done. I did as well as I could with the 3rd set of strength exercises. Oh. Dear. God. I did the best I could, but had to stop before I got 3 sets in because my legs were so shaky I was afraid I was going to fall. With the stomach ones, I felt them on the back of my hips. So I just need to keep trying, next Thursday (I'll rotate to the first set this Thursday and the 2nd set next Tuesday, etc.)
I finally had a fairly long talk with my Marine tonight. I hadn't really spoken to him much since he left the weekend before Christmas. He was upset over a bunch of crap that happened with the airline reservations and barely said bye. Tonight he gave me the new address where he and his girlfriend are renting off base. I'm going to start sending him his clothes and other things that were left here. I also sent him a $50 Target gift card through MyPoints (I had been saving the points to send him stuff for the apartment). He's going to pay back the money I loaned him for his flight back. He's sending a bit more than what I gave him this year, but he borrowed money over the last year that he promised to pay back. I'm kinda happy about it because I have been stressing over money some since I loaned it to him, but I didn't want to tell him I was worried about it.
My stomach hurts, as once I did as many of the stomach exercises that I could from the sheet, I finished out with 1 set of crunches and 1 set of what we called 'dead cockroaches' in Tae Kwon Do. Relaxing a bit with my knitting then gonna go to bed after Face Off on SyFy is done. Laterness and g'night.
Monday, February 14, 2011
I had to laugh tonight. Justin's grandfather gave the kids a Valentine's heart with 3 chocolates in it - one of those little Russell Stover ones. When I got in the car, I looked at my youngest, and he had chocolate all around his mouth. I asked if he had any chocolate left and he had part of one. Apparently he didn't like the last chocolate. On the other hand, my daughter had her chocolates gone before they had driven 3 blocks.
Exercise happened today like it was supposed to. I'm getting the hang of the intervals. I was happy to see stomach exercises included in the weight exercises. My stomach isn't going down like it did last time I lost weight seriously.
They had a small auction today at work to raise money for someone we work with. She's gotta be close to 80 and fell twice with the ice storms 2 weeks ago. She broke her arm the first time, and I think a vertebrae the second time. She's going to be in rehab for months if not more, and probably won't come back to work. Anyway, I bid on a pendant in the auction as a reward for being down 15 lbs. When I checked 10 minutes before the end, I was the top bidder. Apparently it was sniped, because I didn't win the auction. I was sad, but I'll look for a reward this weekend. It'll be a non-food reward, obviously. Maybe a trip to Ross is in the cards after we collect from the newspaper boxes.
One of the girls at work wants to go walking tomorrow. Since she said she doesn't walk fast, I may go ahead and walk with her anyway to encourage her since she needs to lose weight. We did a walking challenge last year at work, and she lost quite a bit of weight, but she's regained a lot of what she lost. On the other hand, I didn't lose anything, though I did start walking almost 10k steps a day (about 4 miles a day for me).
Think I've jumped topics enough tonight. I've got some research to do so I can apply for a freelance writing job. Laterness and g'night.
I need to find my belt. Most of my jeans have a bit of lycra which was great when I was at 240 - 245 but they're a bit loose now and the smaller jeans were just a bit tight on my stomach. The other jeans are cute but I'm more interested in the skirts I can now fit into. At least one I don't want to get rid of and am wondering if I can get it tailored when I get to goal. LOL of course by then I'll be fitting into more cute clothes so I may change my mind.
Tea helped wake me up a bit but I have no inclination to do much work. I'm doing it but not happy about it :P
I'm a bit worried about jogging on the treadmill until I find my belt but I think my belly will keep them up. Or my hips. They're big enough. Breakfast and lunch are on plan. Will post tonight with fianl results.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Walk was done outside. I swear, weather in OK is wild. When I got to work Thursday morning, it was -17º F. Today, it hit 70º F. Four days later and almost 90º difference. It was a bit chilly to walk, but I had everyone put on sweat shirts to stay warm. Of course, my kittie girl still complained she was cold, so I gave her my sweatshirt as well. I was working up a sweat with the walk, but she was unhappy that I kept running while pushing her stroller. LOL She didn't like leaving daddy and baby brother behind.
I'm looking forward to the shake tonight. I <3 those shakes. Though I'll admit to spicing it up (with 0 calorie stuff tho) I add a tsp or so of cocoa powder and a tablespoon of instant coffee for a mocha shake. As good as the Arby's kind and all healthy and on plan.
Dinner is mostly done, I still need to heat up some frozen green beans, then have my shake. Otherwise, I've eaten everything else according to plan. Water is at 96 oz and a bit more. I need to have 128 oz of fluids, and normally don't count coffee, milk, juice or anything else. I may call it good tonight even if I don't finish the last 32 oz cup of water. I am at the 128 oz of fluids I need.
This is fun, I'm trying to type with duckie boy crawling all over me. He aggravated the cat, and she clawed his hand. He keeps coming to me and complaining he has a boo boo and wanting me to kiss it. After the 5th time, I told him that happens when he aggravates the cat. So now he's kissing it himself.
So far, on plan, but I'm trying to figure out how to do the exercise without a treadmill. I can do what I did Wednesday, but I don't feel I got as much out of it without the treadmill. I guess as long as I move, it doesn't matter, huh? As long as I try it and do my best.
Saturday, February 12, 2011
I'm trying to hold onto the feeling of the good deal because I'm about to start stressing again. Justin was bringing his son (my stepson) home and the truck crapped out. I have no clue what's going on right now, all I know is Justin's ex is bringing him home at some point. It's been 40 minutes since the text message, so I'm not entirely sure how long before they're home. I'm glad I insisted on tucking the kittie girl into bed instead of letting her wait til Justin got home. The duckie boy was late falling asleep, but is finally asleep now so I have a few minutes of peace.
Took a melatonin pill when I got up to get my milk. I really need to sleep well tonight. Hopefully that'll snap me out of my funk. I'm not depressed, I'm just having trouble with focusing on what I need to be doing. It's not just weight loss related. It's more along the lines of doing something about being so miserable in my job for 3+ years. Moving will help, but I need to find something that'll help more. Fireproof is over, so I guess it's time to think about bed. Laterness and g'night.
Friday, February 11, 2011
I had a few ideas on how to get things to go easier next week. Make menus for the house and set up everything ahead of time. Should make it cheaper. My only thing is the cheese pizza. I'm thinking I'd prefer homemade, as long as it's a 12" cheese pizza, it should be on the plan. I'm not particularly crazy about frozen pizzas. I figure I'll get some bread crumbs and make baked nuggets for the kids on days that I'm having chicken, I have a Romano Basil vinaigrette that I really can't stand in my salad that I can use to marinate the chicken for them (but not for me). I ordered the sirloin Philly steaks from work (all meat, thinly sliced and already portioned - unfortunately at 4 oz), and hope they'll eat that. Maybe on a baked potato like I plan (since that's the meal, steak and potatoes) or a cheese steak sandwich and some home fries (baked again, healthy with little oil). Dunno, other than the pizza and spaghetti, I'm thinking I'll end up fighting them on dinner no matter what I do. I want to make it healthy, hence the baking stuff. I know I lost weight eating that kind of food before, I just need to be sure they're eating veggies and fruits too. Never any worries about that, my daughter may want cereal for dinner, but she prefers a salad over chicken and broccoli. My 2 year old will take sliced cucumbers from Justin's bowl and eat them. They both ask for celery with peanut butter and eat most of it. Fruit salad doesn't last long either, they'll eat bananas or sliced apples, and they both love clementines. I just need to make the healthy eating more of a habit than an occasional occurrence.
It's 11:30 already, time sure flies lately. I meant to go to the forum, but never made it back tonight. Laterness and g'night.
On the treadmill now. So far on plan. Just a blah day otherwise. Wishing I could snap out of the blahs.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Everything was on plan today, food, water, exercise. I never noticed how much food they had catered in at work until I started the Challenge at Phase 4.
Today's triceps dips sucked. I really struggled with the last set of 12, but I did them. I'm going to be sore tomorrow though.
I'm just feeling sad again tonight. Tomorrow is payday Friday, and we have a bunch of stuff that needs to be paid. Nothing is going on for Valentine's Day. The church is having a date night, they do every year the Friday before Valentine's day, but I honestly don't feel like going anywhere with this cold. I saw -17 this morning without the wind chill. The Weather Channel has it at 12ºF right now according to my sidebar/gadget bar.
My sister and I were joking about if I won the challenge since Justin would refuse to go to NY, I'd bring her. Of course we'd both have to find sitters, I don't think Mom could handle all 3 kids. Not that I plan on winning, I just don't seem to be losing at the pace I theoretically should be. At least the weight is going down, that's what matters to me.
I want to teach my kids healthy habits since we still have fights over dinner. They both happily ate spaghetti tonight, though there was some whining from the 2 year old that he wanted cereal. I measured mine out and will eat it tomorrow night when they have something else since I was following day 2 today for food. I felt guilty telling them they need to eat what everyone else was when I wasn't eating what everyone else was. My daughter has an issue with eating anything - she says she doesn't like chicken, she doesn't like broccoli. She'll eat rice, even brown rice. She just needs to learn to eat other foods. She eats them at school.
So I'm curious, for those who know more about Blogger, what's the point in followers? Is that people that read your blog? I noticed that a lot of people have the little gadget on the side, but I'm just not sure I understand. I love getting comments and knowing people are reading what I write, but I don't rate my blog (or myself) on how many followers I have - if that makes any sense. What I write is valuable to me if no one else. There were a few days there where I was getting 2 hits a day, and I suspect both were me. One from work and one from home. I know my blog disappeared from Allan's blogroll when he moved to the new address. I do have old friends from eDiets who read my blog, and I gave the address to a few other close friends, so I had people reading. However, only one was participating in the challenge. She still is, though I think she's been too busy moving to read many emails or other peoples' blogs.
Anyway, I'd better get to sleep since it's 11:30. Laterness and g'night.
Lunch is now done and I didn't touch the Rib Crib food. I moved my salad to lunch and I'm full. Still have a bit more salad and my apple. I'm glad Amanda set up a forum. Its easier to keep track of everyone's answers BUT its another thing for me to remember to check.
I have been so swamped from having the snow day yesterday, I haven't had a chance to write more. I'm at 112 oz of water right now.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
I'll have to add the meat to the spaghetti after I measure out my food, but I have everything I need other than hamburger. Friday's meals will be one of the ones with sirloin for dinner, I just really want red meat. I haven't had any in more than 46 days LOL.
I just realized I hadn't hit post. It's definitely bedtime. Laterness and g'night.
Justin just cooked himself some eggs and mushrooms. The mushrooms smell so good, now I'm going to crave them all day. I guess it could be worse, at least it's something healthy. I'm lucky in that he supports me pretty well with the weight loss effort. He's been watching what he eats, and his blood sugar is more normal.
I can't remember which day I'm following today, I think it's day 8. Breakfast oatmeal and fruit juice. I need to wait until later to eat the yogurt, as I took my new thyroid medication at 7, and can't have anything with calcium until 4 hours after that. Just means it'll be an extra filling smoothie for my morning snack lol.
It looks like most of my grocery shopping this weekend will need to be at Aldis at least for the chicken.
My posting is scattered this morning. I need to figure out how to get the exercising done without a treadmill to watch the time. Getting out isn't going to be easy today, so it'll all have to be done at home. Justin said it was a nightmare to deliver papers. I also have a lot of knitting that needs to be done, as well as finishing my research for the writing projects I want to start. Of course I'll need to get money into PayPal or get a prepaid Visa card to follow through.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
I'm on plan so far today and have finished 48 oz of water so almost half done. I am having one of those days at work and would love to go home and start over. Or even stay home but my job makes me miserable anyway.
I'm now done 64 oz of water and lunch is done.
Monday, February 7, 2011
I'm in a touch of pain tonight. It's hurting to move my neck, which means I'm going to have to take something to be able to sleep. I'm not sure what I did.
Overall, it was a good day. Food exactly what I was supposed to eat while on the plan. Walking or walk/jog was okay for today, though I felt like I was going to die that last minute of jogging. Stretching okay, and I felt nice and loose until I sat down at the laptop tonight. I will admit I love having the vanilla milkshake after dinner, though I may need to move some of dinner's food to earlier in the day. I was starving by the time I left work. I need to check on if it's okay.
First day back on thyroid medication tomorrow, let's hope it fixes the exhaustion. I'm so sick of feeling like I'm hitting the wall when I get enough sleep and shouldn't be all that tired.
Still thinking about and praying for my friend Brenda and her family. Words fail me right now, I'm just sad and wishing for a magic wand to make things all better.
I need to get some sleep before I fall asleep sitting up. I'm just staring at the computer screen anyway. I'm well past the age where I was when I used to stay awake all night gaming. Laterness and g'night.
I was on the phone with my brother when I first started looking over the food and I read the meals for one of the days to him. He didn't really even listen once I said it was 1200 calories. 'Oh I can't eat that little, I get a headache.' Keep in mind my brother is probably at least 80 to 100 lbs overweight (*EDIT: My sister says he's 350 to 400 lbs, so more than 80 to 100 lbs overweight). That's fine. He's not ready to change. BUT (and this is a big one) he was complaining to me about being lonely. That he doesn't have many friends etc. I really should have laid it on the line then - he has some major hygiene issues. As in BO and bad breath. I'm going to get my sister's opinion on whether I should say something. Tho I'll do it in email and ask him to read it slowly and really think before he just says I'm wrong.
So far on plan. Tho I made a smoothie out of my afternoon snack and have been slowly drinking it.
Breakfast oatmeal, oj, milk
Lunch turkey sandwich & apple
Snack milk & strawberries
Getting ready to go down and exercise.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Really short post tonight. I had a lot to say, but didn't get much of the post started. Then I opened my email, and a dear friend from eDiets isn't doing well. I'll admit I saw it coming, though it makes me sad. She's been in and out of the hospital too much for my taste. I'm praying for her family since I can't do anything else.
I'm not feeling the best, so gonna get some sleep. I still need to put my food into SparkPeople, but I know that my calories were really low. I forgot to eat lunch, I took a nap instead. Laterness and g'night.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results." - UnknownIt's obvious whether Allan is interested in weight loss or committed to weight loss. My goal is to be committed to weight loss no matter how discouraged I get at how slow I lose. My goal is to stick to the plan no matter what. I know I'm going to be the slowest loser. I'll live as long as I get closer to my goal.
I suspect I won't get any answers on the exhaustion. I called the clinic again. The PA wasn't in today. I already know that if my test had been 'enough' off she would have called. My only other choice is to go to another doctor or deal with it. It's nice that our clinic is so inexpensive but they're not exactly good at times. My coworker had bronchial pneumonia but the clinic didn't diagnose it correctly for 2 months. She finally went to the Indian clinic (American Indian that is) and got the medication to get better. I don't have that choice - I'm not Indian. I'd need to find a doctor and pay everything out of pocket since I haven't met my deductible yet.
I finished yesterday at 1200 calories, though I did have a piece of cake and shouldn't have. I ate out of stress, and I so know better.
Today so far I'm at 500 calories. I spent too much time working on paperwork for the Oklahoman. I'm really stressing out about that. We need to stop eating out. I don't want to dip into savings any more than we're going to have to in paying off the Oklahoman for last month. I want to replace the money ASAP.
Back, finishing my post after dinner and a bath. Donner was chicken and mushrooms in a pita. Finishing the day a bit over 800 calories. I wasn't hungry earlier, so decided that was it for the day. I'm getting hungry now but no eating after 8 pm.
I keep forgetting that I have this window open, so I'm going to go ahead and post. Laterness and g'night.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Breakfast has become a habit. I hope its on the new plan. Egg beaters on lite wheat toast. Milk. I want something sweet so I'll have raisins in a bit.
I'm not sure if I'll have my morning snack or not. It'll depend on if I get hungry before lunch which is hummus and carrots and a yogurt.
Had my morning snack.
Change of plans for lunch. Had 3 dill pickle spears and about 4 oz of chicken breast with 2 tbsp BBQ sauce. Planning on skipping both of the cakes in the building, including the one 10' from my desk. Lunch is over so I'll try to get in some exercise tonight. Laterness.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Anyway, today I made up for yesterday's 1300 calories by getting less than 1000. I'm just too tired to be very hungry. Dinner was 2 eggs over easy with toast from lite bread and a bit of butter.
I have mixed feelings about my results for tomorrow. Hopefully they know what's wrong with me tomorrow. Otherwise, I don't know how long I'll have to wait. If nothing's wrong and my thyroid is what they consider normal, she may give me a small dose of synthroid. I tried to get a response out of her because I really don't think I'm anemic or sick. I could be wrong, Lord only knows I'm not perfect. Not even close. She at least understood my frustration with doing everything 'right' and some weeks only losing 1 lb.
CSI tonight made me miss Daddy. I haven't even been back to NY since the funeral. On the anniversary of his death, my sister put flowers on his grave, and took a picture of it, but that's not the same. His birthday just passed, and I feel guilty that I let the day slip by. Usually, I post something on my other blog wishing him a happy birthday. It was a dear friend's birthday the day after Daddy's, and I let that slip by as well. I've just been so self-absorbed lately. If you're reading this, D, hope your birthday was something special even with fighting with the kids and the wife. And Daddy, wherever you are, I love you and miss you.
Time for sleep. Laterness and g'night.
Clinic appointment this morning. They're doing a full spectrum blood test including for anemia and my thyroid. With how how many dark veggies I'm eating I doubt I'm anemic. She's testing my blood sugar but I haven't had any sugar in 40 days. So I really think it'll be my thyroid. She seemed to think so too. Its nice to know that I'm not crazy. I told her I got dizzy on the treadmill and she checked my ears. She said they're clear. So an ear infection isn't why I got dizzy.
Honestly, my numbers 3 years ago were borderline at 1.8 but they use a different scale than my last doctor who kept my TSH around 1.
Anyway breakfast was an egg and a 1/4 c of egg beaters on toast w/cheese over 300 calories by the time I had milk too. Oops. Lunch is chicken, broccoli and brown rice. Eating late because I wasn't really hungry. No snack this morning. Developing a headache tho. And really fighting exhaustion - moreso than earlier this week.
Not going to exercise which means I'll be light on the exercise this week. I think its more important to see if I'm sick and get better than to push the exercise if I feel like this.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Went over calories to 1303 (I measured everything out still, just ate more than I normally do). I should have skipped my evening snack, but I've gotten to where I want to eat 6x a day. I'm not getting more ice cream, I'll have something else. That'll make it easier to skip the evening snack. I've turned my food addiction to the sugar free ice cream bars. At least I've been limiting myself to one a night, but that's faint consolation.
Water was spot on. I should have exercised today, but it was so cold at work, I used it as an excuse. If I decide to exercise 4x this week, I'll add a walk around the mall on Saturday. I'm sure my duckie boy would enjoy a ride on the choo-choo at the end.
Falling asleep at the keyboard, maybe I won't stay awake until 11:30 after all. Laterness and g'night.
Oh and to my dear friend on the MUD if you find this blog, I'm posting right now by MMS so nyah :)
I'm really just wishing I could go back to bed. I got a 'normal' amount of sleep last night and I'm ready for a nap already. The clinic wasn't open when I was supposed to have my appointment so I didn't go. Instead its rescheduled for tomorrow.
No exercise but cut a bit out of my lunch (only half a pita instead of a whole) and my afternoon snack (half a sheet of graham cracker with my pb). I'm drinking decaf tea to warm up but may get a soda in a bit. Laterness.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
This post may be a bit negative, I just posted a bunch of stuff on another blog, but I'm kinda pissy since the email from Allan that the challenge is ended. I'm worried that my drive will fail if I don't have a weekly weigh in that needs to be emailed to someone.
First off, food was on plan. Water, as I said, about 11 oz short. Usually, I more than surpass the water, and even if I stay home again tomorrow I'll do better.
I'm a bit pissy about the whole challenge thing. Just because a handful of the 50 someodd people aren't following the rules - and it's stated in the beginning that we MUST follow the rules - and they're upset that they're going to be kicked out of the challenge... it's ended? just like that? Screw that. I'm sorry, but if I'm told that I have to follow the rules or as closely as possible and I don't do it, I'll expect to get kicked out. Heck, I even said below that I was worried about getting kicked out simply because I'm not losing fast enough, and I'm following as closely to the plan as I can. WTF?
I've stated repeatedly that this blog is for me. I'll say flat out that my anger and negativity have made parts of it painful to reread. When I've gone back, I've deleted stuff. There's a lot going on in my life that I don't post. I try not to post money worries, because I know we have it better than we did, and I'm slowly digging us out of the hole that we got in between Justin being unemployed with no unemployment (not once, but twice), and the head-in-the-sand approach we took to some bills. We have a ways to go, but we have breathing room now. There are other worries I try not to post... like my worry about my Marine. I'm proud of him, but I worry about a lot related to him, and I miss him so terribly it's an ache some days. I know I have to let him grow up, so I try to smile and hide the tears.
It's late, and I really should get some sleep. The kittie girl may not have school tomorrow (we already got notice that school is closed), but I suspect I have work. I think school is closed because of the wind chill forecast around -15 degrees more than anything. Laterness and g'night.