Saturday, February 18

Today, I went in to work for about 4.5 hours.  Which is good, since I'll be missing a whole day on Friday.  I'm getting excited about that.

Well, kinda.  You see, my 20 year old is going to be deployed next month.  So he gets time off to visit family before he goes.  He decided to go to Florida and will be staying with my sister.

I'll get there 7 pm Friday and will leave at 7 am Sunday.  Short, short trip.  To visit someone that I miss more than I can say... but I'm his mom, and I need to let him grow up.  He's one of the few that gets my sense of humor, even my family doesn't.  But since I was a single mom, he became a mini-me in many ways.  Which drove his father crazy. 

I don't feel too bad about his father being upset about it... after all, I left because I was being abused.  In every way that you can think of.  Sexually, emotionally, verbally, physically... I'm still recovering, and I still have self-esteem issues from it.  Just some residuals that I'm working at giving away once and for all. 

I don't hate my ex though, it's not worth it.  I feel bad for him, and a part of me still cares about him and wishes him the best.  I also think he's a crappy father, but that's another story entirely.

Our son invited him to:
   His high school graduation - can't come, it's the same weekend as commencement at work (he works for the University of Vermont), and he can't get time off
    His boot camp graduation - can't come, something else is happening on campus and he can't get time off.

I had no money for the second, but got help from family and a very dear friend who I owe a lot to... and I made it there.

I'm going to miss my 20 year old while he's in the mid-east, and I'm sure I'm going to cry a whole lot while he's gone.  But I'm still proud of him, and will spend every day praying for him until he comes home.  I hope by then I'll be back in Florida permanently, so I can see him more often.  That's why I have to focus on the writing, where I know I can make the money.