March 29, Thursday

It's been a long week. The Marine messaged me this week and said he was going to be away for a few days, which means he's out on patrol somewhere in Afghanistan.

Then hubby's cousin, who joined the Army last Spring/Summer got out of the Army.  Apparently the Army is downsizing.  That'll be great for our economy.  I'm sure he'll just go back and live with his parents.

We checked out a new place near work today.  They offer Herbalife shakes.  Their lunch special is a meal replacement shake and an energy tea for $6.

We're hoping to get into a house soon, but with the state of our credit, I'm not sure we'll be able to get approved for the loan.  So now all I can do is pray that we can find someone that'll work with us. 

I need to get into my own place so I can get back to eating regular food.  My weight is creeping back down finally, but geesh, I miss my fruits and veggies.  I've been craving a strawberry smoothie.

Was falling asleep on the couch earlier, so I'm going to close this.

Laterness & g'night.

March 22, Thursday

So after a night's sleep, I figured out my problem. I just need to come up with a solution - how do you change being socially awkward? I think it even comes across in my blog as much as it does in real life.

I'm tired again, but otherwise just taking things one step at a time. I'm already more than half done my water for the day. I took extra vitamin D since strep is going around the office and I don't have money for the doctor. But I'm also taking a probiotic to help my stomach. After 2 years, I'm feeling a bit better - this is supposed to help me stay regular too, a problem now that I'm not on my thyroid medication.

The above was written on Wednesday, I had to bring the boy to the hospital - he had croup. Then last night I was still too tired to think much, so I forgot to send it. I'll post more later.

March 20, Tuesday

So the church called and asked me to put together something about my Marine. They want to put it in the monthly newsletter. I'm going to steal his pic off his dad's Facebook page, but I'm at a loss on what to say.

After emailing my sister, I came up with a blurb to give them.

I'm emotional and hurt about someone I thought was a friend. She posted something that I felt was uncalled for to one of my Facebook status updates, so I deleted the comment. Now she's blocked me on Facebook. I guess she wasn't much of a friend, but it still hurts. I don't make friends very easily. I'm just not the type I guess...

Tuesday, March 13

Another day where I drank almost enough water (I had about 8 oz left of the 3 liter bottle I've been filling), but that plus the other fluids puts me over 128 oz.

Food was good.  I had part of an awesome lasagna for lunch.  It was made with whole grain noodles, plus lots of veggies, eggplant, squash, black olives, and only a bit of ground turkey.  Someone at work made it for herself, and her husband, but her husband is out of town for the week and she has so much of it she's sick of it.  I've got enough for at least one more day.

I even went for a walk this morning. 

My mind is going circles about my Marine, but I'll get through it.  One step at a time.

It's also been rough at home right now.  His grandparents are growing tired of the company I think, and constantly criticizing everything we do.  Hubby went to go get gas, and I heard a comment about how he's wasting gas running here and there.  Only the closest place to get gas when he's delivering papers is on the other side of town.  It's better to do it now. 

One step at a time there too.  I can only do this with grace.  That's all anyone can do it with, God's grace.

I guess I'm going to watch a movie, then go to bed.  Laterness & g'night.

Monday, March 12

So I'm a big disappointment to my sister again.  I'm trying to figure out how to make it up to her.  Today is my nephew's birthday, and I forgot to send out a card... again.  I texted her tonight to tell her give him a hug and say I wish him a happy birthday, but I know that wasn't enough. 

Food was on plan today.  I didn't binge on anything.  I drank almost a gallon of water (if you count all the coffee, I drank over a gallon of fluids).

Exercise didn't happen.  I've got a bunch of stuff I need to do to get my writing going, and I can't do it and walk at lunch.  I need to find another alternative.

It's been a day.  The truck broke down... again.  Two weeks ago, his compressor seized.  Today, he threw a ball joint when turning around.  He thought it was his suspension.  You know it's bad when the tow truck driver pulls up and says 'I know this truck.  Didn't I tow you about 2 weeks ago?'

We've got a bit of a cushion, and it's not going to be much to fix the truck.    But I've got stress hives.  This living with someone else is the pits.  I was cuddling with my daughter this morning, about 10 minutes before 7.  I was told it was almost 7, didn't she need to eat?  Uhh I don't feed her until 7, the time before is for cuddles and to finish getting ready except for eating.

Then it was the boy wouldn't stop coughing, and 'I don't know what his mama is thinking bringing him to daycare.'  Except he's having an allergy attack because the trees are already flowering this year.  The coughing is from his allergies, and will stop as soon as his Zyrtec kicks in, another 2 or 3 days.  Until then, he's miserable and coughing, but not actually sick.  I can't stay home with him, and I'm not relying on 2 cranky 80+ year olds to watch him even if daddy is asleep in the other room.

I've got money saved, I"m just slowly nearing the end of my patience.  And then my Marine calls me tonight.  He's heading out on Saturday.  I knew yesterday at church that it was going to be this week.  I just hope that not everything that went through my mind is going to come true.  If so, maybe I need to take out some life insurance on my husband. :P

I keep repeating to myself, if God brings me to it, he will bring me through it.  Now I just need to take it day by day, and walk in faith.

And find a birthday gift to send to my nephew that makes up for not sending out a card early enough to get it to him.

Laterness & g'night.

Sunday, March 11

I've decided that my blog is boring.  I don't stir up shit like other bloggers.  I spend a lot of time whining about crap that I do to myself.  It's a train wreck in progress.

My weight was at 198 last week, finally heading in the right direction... until I binged halfway through the week.  I was wanting something, and kept eating other things to make the craving go away.  It didn't work.  Funny, I bought what I was craving, and I was able to eat normally the rest of the week.  Lesson learned. 

I also did some major reading.  I figured out part of my problem, but it's all mindset.  I was happy in FL, so I was able to maintain, though I didn't lose any more.  Here.. not so much.  I've decided that I'm changing my mind.  I am happy here.  I've got a healthy family.  We've got jobs.  I've got a place to live.  Life is sweet.

My weight is going to start going in the right direction because I have a plan.  I need to be happy for the kids.  I want to be at goal weight by the time my Marine gets back from Afghanistan in October.  I can do it.  I just need to focus.

In the meantime, I playing with my relationship status on Facebook to see who's paying attention.  LOL  I just changed my husband's, tomorrow I'll change mine.

I forgot to hit post last night.  So laterness.

Monday, March 5

I didn't mean to disappear.  First I got sick and kept falling asleep on the couch when I was trying to post.  Then I went to FL to see my Marine, and had to deal with the mixture of emotions that brought up.  Then I came back, and still kept falling asleep at the keyboard.  It's been a long 2 weeks.

I had a job interview in January/February, and thought I did well in the interview, but they hired someone else. Except the other person quit after a very short time, and I was called back for another 'interview.' Where I didn't really interview, just refresh my memory on things, and their memories on things.  I then filled out a paper for a background check.  If I pass that, I'll get a job offer.

Plus, I've been offered my old job back.  I found out last week that my boss doesn't have the final say over who gets hired.  This is the same boss that I was getting frustrated with before I left Enid.  So I may or may not get offered that job.

From no full time job offers for 7 months to 2 possible pending offers.  If I had any doubt that I needed to come back to Enid, I guess that clears those doubts.  I just wish I could see my family more often.  I miss them, though not as much as I did last June.

Now if only we could find a place to live that wasn't with family... That'll be next on my prayer list.

In the meantime... with all the stress of the last 2 weeks, I did the wrong thing.  I was binge eating, and my weight showed it.  I went back up to 200 lbs.  BUT I brought myself back under control last week.  I was too weak to exercise for more than 13 minutes, BUT I watched what I ate.  My weight went from 200.0 to 198.0 Lbs.  That's heading back in the right direction.

I'm going to focus on keeping up with it over the next couple of weeks, and see if I can at least get back down to the 190 I saw when I was in FL.

I'm tired and should get some sleep.  Laterness & g'night.