Day 1 - Final Stats

I need to shake things up tomorrow, but not bad for today.  Total at the end of the day per SparkPeople:

Calories: 861
Water: 96 oz
Protein: 65g
Fat: (too high) 42g

 I skipped the hummus and homemade pita chips after all, I simply wasn't hungry enough.  I am adding in a 100 calorie ice cream bar, as under 800 calories just seems unbelievable to me LOL.

Tomorrow, work and listening to everyone worry about the email we received after just about everyone else had left.  My company just went through a merger with 2 other companies.  We received an email stating that the new head of our department is coming from OH to OK to discuss our positions in the new company.  We've been told by our department manager that our jobs are safe, but others including the new CEO have said people here in town will be losing their jobs and that we'd be hearing something after the 1st of the year.  I swear, sometimes it seems like they just worry things to death.  I need to fill up my MP3 player because I really don't care to hear everyone go in circles about that damn email.  We'll lose our jobs or we won't.  Spending hours talking about it will change nothing.

And Lunch - an Explanation of Epicurial Delights

So my lunch pretty much made up for the high calories eaten earlier today.  I am having a cup of what was originally supposed to be cream of butternut soup.  However, I changed the recipe some... I boiled the butternut squash in about 2 cups of chicken broth and added a sweet potato and 2 or 3 cloves of garlic.  Once everything was well cooked, I mashed it and added about 1 cup of 2% milk.  Lower in calories than the original recipe, which called for butter and half and half.  It's very yummy though, and very filling.

Looking at my protein and fiber stats, I may need to add in a 1 serving package of hummus and homemade pita chips made out of a whole wheat pita.  Dinner is already planned with 3 oz of chicken with 2 cups of spinach sauteed in 1 tbsp of olive oil with garlic.  Another yum. 

My goal is to increase the veggies, decrease the calories from the 1600 that I've been averaging and still make my meals tasty. 

Day 1 - Starting Early

Okay, so I entered my information so far this morning.  Justin made my coffee, so I didn't end up with black coffee.  I didn't want to throw it out (gotta get out of that mindset) so I drank it.  That put me over 400 calories for breakfast since I had 2 eggs, a 1 oz piece of cheese and a 5.5 oz V8 juice after I drank the coffee.  I did tell Justin that I probably need to switch to black coffee except as a treat.

Me again

I'll post a better pic of me when I get up for the day. Papers are rolled for Justin to deliver so now its time for a nap until the kids get up. Nite nite LOL (okay its 5 am but what else can I say?)

And finally

Me. On Christmas day 2010

Totals for Christmas

Okay, it's not pretty, but I'm going to post my stats for today per SparkPeople.  I didn't do as well as I had hoped, though they had me at 1650 to 2000 calories (something that I need to adjust since I'll be doing no more than 1200 calories).  I came in under their goal, though way over where I should have been today.  Since I knew I was starting tomorrow, I just said fuck it and ate a piece of the gingerbread house as well.  Ick, definitely not something I'm going to repeat.  It's going in the trash in the morning.

Today, SparkPeople came up with:
Calories: 1,607
Carbs: 203g
Fat: 47g
Protein: 99g

I need to figure out something else for my coffee, the milk I've been putting in it has me at 112 calories for my morning coffee.  I can do Splenda -  I may just need to start drinking it black & sweet again instead of adding sugar free syrup and milk to make mocha.  Probably best for the diet anyway.

Granted, before deciding that I'm going to do no more than 1200 calories, I would have considered today a success.  Being morbidly obese, I need to remember that if I want to get healthy the fastest, I need to do this right.  No cheating, no saying 'fuck it.'  Nothing.

Reading old blog posts on Allan's blog, he talks about how God didn't get us here... no he didn't.  But He helps me find the strength in myself to do what I should do.  Sloth, gluttony & pride are all sins.

Justin

Another reason to get serious about weight loss. I love him but he makes me sad. He has diabetes, high cholesterol/triglycerides and borderline high blood pressure but he doesn't do a lot about it. He takes his diabetes medicine but eats what he wants at any given moment.  I can only nag so much.  He needs to decide for himself that he's going to do it right.

Starting at Christmas

I know there are going to be a lot of issues to get through in my journey.  After reading Allan's blog and joining his challenge, I decided to change my old blog about health issues in the news to a journal of my weight loss.  Yes, I have another blog (the one at http://www.thewoodedglen.com) but my other blog has more to do with gaming and general life.  Since people on the MUD that I play on read it, I don't feel like it's a comfortable place for me to work through the emotional issues I have with losing weight.  I know I have a lot of them.  I know I've had a lot of false starts.  That's why I want to write down what's going on in my mind.

Here's what I'm committing to, starting tomorrow

1. I'm going to focus on tracking my calories. 
2. I'm going to focus on getting at least 7 hours of sleep (that'll be much easier once we drop the 2nd paper route)
3. I'm going to focus on exercise every day - there's a treadmill at work, Justin and I are planning on getting one at home

Three small things, since for me water goes without saying.  I drink 5 - 6 cups of water a day, each cup is about 20 oz - I really need to measure the cup to be sure exactly how much it holds.  I know what will help me re-lose the weight.  It's no longer baby weight, my baby is 2.  The weight is from when I was pregnant with my 5 year old.  Of course, I stopped at 208 lbs back in 2001, so I want to go lower than that anyway.  Actually there's a 4th thing

4. Journal my journey, work through the emotional issues that I have with regards to weight.

I know I have those too.

Join me on my journey if you dare.  It'll get ugly.  It'll get emotional.  I've definitely had my eyes opened as I've checked the calorie count(s) for a lot of my 'normal' diet foods.  Bean burritos made with whole wheat tortillas - fine, but one is going to be 200 calories.  I need to figure out exactly how it's going to fit into my diet.  I did decide that my favorite breakfast is going to be 8 grain cereal with blueberries.  This may be TMI but that breakfast keeps me regular, but I may alternate it with the omelet that I've gotten used to.  With the fake eggs and a slice of cheese it's not that bad calorie-wise, and I really don't notice much of a difference in the taste between the carton eggs and real eggs.

I also figured out that I can post through MMS.  That's a good thing, as I refuse to pay $25 per phone for Internet access for my BlackBerry and Justin's Internet capable Gravity III.  We pay for Internet at home, why add in the $50 extra to our phone bill?

Anyway, I'll post more later... maybe not tonight, but this post is a start to show that I'm serious.  I'm focused and I'm doing this.  This is who I'm doing it for...

My kitty girl (All kids names have been changed LOL - I chose Halloween pictures for 2 reasons, first I love these pictures, second it makes them almost unrecognizable if you see them in person - this is my blog not theirs)

My ducky boy

I've got another, but he's 19 and in the Marines.  He's stationed in SC and is engaged to be married.  Ideally, I'd love to be 'normal weight' when he gets married.

The 19 year old did hurt my feelings a bit when he was home earlier this month, and my reaction was to want to turn to food.  He got mad because he made plane reservations back for the wrong day not once, but twice and he told me he was never coming back to windy OK to visit me.  I loaned him enough money to pay for the plane fare back, but he had to hurry so much to get through security and on the plane that I got barely a hug.  Yea, that feels good after 10 years of single parenting.  Oh the joys of kids.  I know I'm not the only one to go through it, and at least mine turned out very well.  I'm so very proud of him even when he hurts my feelings.  There was a long time when he was so angry at the world, yet now he's let go of the anger and is a Marine.  Semper Fi.

Christmas memories

Its funny what will trigger memories of Christmas gone by. Every year we would get these for my step-dad. Some years everyone would get a box.

A "Cure" for Obesity?

Fat fish put obesity on the hook They're doing research to see if they can find a link between obesity in fish and obesity in humans. I understand where they're coming from, they need to find another reason for the rising obesity rates over the last few years. The real reason is out there, but corporate America and the food manufacturers don't want to let anyone know the real reason. They'd lose money. The best thing for losing weight? Stay away from overprocessed foods. Nabisco would lose money. Partially hydrogenated vegetable oil? Bad for you. High fructose corn syrup? Another we should stay away from. The big corporations are making big bucks with these chemically altered imitation food ingredients. Those same corporations are great about advertising how well they treat their employees. Ask the employees. The most important thing to these corporations is the money they're bringing in making America fat. Making the world fat. It's not just Americans any more, you go on any diet website and you'll find members from Germany, New Zealand, even China. Dieting and weight loss are big business. They get us coming and going. They make the bad food that gets us to gain weight. How many of these same companies turn around and market "diet" meals?