May 4, Another day, another year

Tomorrow marks my 41st birthday. 

Last year I foresaw a lot of changes that simply haven't happened, and may never happen. 

1. I miss my family, and don't know when I'll see them again, though I hope I do in October/November when my Marine gets home from overseas.
2. We're living with hubby's grandparents, and it's so very hard.
3. I'm back at the job I had before I left... the one I had mixed feelings about.  Some days I liked it, some days I didn't.

On the other hand, hubby had a job interview with the company I work for.  The jobs pay well for here, and workers get yearly raises.  It's better than his work at the newspaper, which is for minimum wage.  He doesn't even get 30 hours a week there.  He got offered an assistant supervisor position, but they don't even know if the assistant supervisor (C) is actually going to jail.  If C doesn't go to jail, hubby is not getting the job.  If he does, hubby loses the job when C gets out.  And hubby is getting hassled by coworkers about being chosen over them.

Not worth it.

As for me... well, I'm just numb.  Especially when I stuff my face with the sweets that seem to be constantly available lately.  I've lost my will to even try to do anything, and I just don't know where to start to change it.

I don't know if I care anymore. 

I don't get why I'm getting so bogged down in depression.

I think it's time to start from the beginning.  Tomorrow, I buy myself a journal that will fit in my purse.  In that journal, I will put thoughts and feelings.  I'm going to get a second journal to put food. 

Tomorrow I will try to walk, but my hubby wants to take me out for my birthday.  I don't know if it'll happen, it'll depend on whether the grandparents will have a problem with watching the kids long enough for us to see The Avengers.

Maybe I'll do both.  Maybe I'll bring the kids for a walk around the mall in the morning.  Actually, that's a good idea, I can rent a stroller and bring them for a walk.  I have to rent a stroller, or there will be complaints about hurting legs.

Today, food was definitely not on plan.

Water - over 1 liter.
Exercise - 7300 steps.  It seems to be more accurate on my waistband, though I am considering buying another.

Tomorrow, I buy stuff for a care package for the Marine.  It may get expensive, but I need to do it.  He wants body spray, men's body wash and peanut butter and crackers.  I'm also sending cookies, beef jerky and some type of drink mix.

Tomorrow, I might also try to get some work done with the kids with me.  We'll see how well that'll work, how they're behaving.

Until then, I have an article that needs to be rewritten before I go to bed.  Sounds fun, huh?  Well, actually I have until 9:45 or so tomorrow morning. 

Laterness & g'night.