If this is Austin...

I'm not terribly impressed with the pumpkin soup. I can think of a few changes to make if I make it again.

I woke up at 5 am and couldn't get comfortable. I was awake for about an hour, spending about 15 minutes sitting in the recliner in the living room. At around 6 I went back to bed. I felt sick the entire time. I still can't figure out if my problem is stress or I'm actually sick. I've felt ill all day so far but I have to work, so I'm just going to have to get over it.

I spent some time last night talking to someone I knew when I was growing up. I used to babysit her son, who is also on my friends list on Facebook. He has cystic fibrosis. When he was 11, his lungs collapsed from the crud that had built up. He's in the hospital for what he calls a 'tune up.' Basically, every other month when he starts losing weight too fast he goes into the hospital for blood work and to have his lungs cleared out. He has lived past the life expectancy that I heard when I first started watching him 24 years ago, but life expectancy for CF patients is now in the 30's. He is a fighter, and I fully expect him to live into his 30's. And there's no telling what advances will be made in the next 5 years, so it may be even longer.

Food is okay so far. I need to put it all into Spark but I should be around 600 calories.

The groove is in the heart or Stomp, stomp, stomp, I'm stompin' that yeti stomp

Two different types of music.  Justin and I were watching a show about 90's one hit wonders.  After it was done, the girl asked us to turn on NickJr, and Backyardigans is on. 

I'm stil l not feeling well, my stomach is bothering me every time I eat.  I almost wish I'd throw up so I'd feel better.  Justin and the kids are feeling better, and they threw up.

I took at least a 2 hour nap this afternoon, and am ready to sleep again.  Breakfast was egg substitute on an English muffin.  Lunch went downhill.  I tried another English muffin, that didn't help, so I had some cheese and crackers.  Way too many calories, and I was miserable all afternoon because nothing is settling right.  So tonight I had about 2 servings of saltines.  That didn't really help either.  So I'm done.  I've got most of my water in, which is making things harder, I'm so very thirsty but every time I drink enough to start filling my stomach, I get nauseous.  Total calories for the day under 900.

I'm wishing I had walked this weekend, but it's so hard to find the motivation when you're not feeling well.  Ahh well, I'll try again tomorrow.  Laterness & g'night.

Evening and reflection

I ended up with under 1000 calories today.  I felt like I ate a lot for breakfast and lunch but when I entered it, it was only about 700 calories.  Then I had a slice of cheese and 5 crackers.  That went over better than the rest of it.

On the other hand, I did make lunch for 3 days this week.  I made pumpkin soup from a recipe I got in my email, then I doubled up the serving size.  Instead of making 6 servings, I put it in 3 bowls.  The recipe said each serving is 130 calories, so that's 260 calories per bowl.  I did make a mistake and put cinnamon instead of nutmeg in it, but it isn't bad.  Lots of garlic.  I'm trying to use up the cans in my cupboard so we have less to move.  I may make the same thing again, with a bit less garlic since I'm out.  I'll use a Mrs Dash type seasoning instead.  I've got another can of pumpkin, and a bunch of cans of beans.  I've got plenty of 120 calorie whole wheat tortillas so I can make burritos for lunches as well.  Those will be 350 to 400 calories each, but still not bad as long as I only have one at a meal and have an apple or something lower calorie for my afternoon snack.

Now the girl is sick, she kept throwing up tonight, so I called in to work tomorrow.  I'm staying home with both of the kids one more day so I can be sure they're feeling better.  I don't think we'll do t-ball tomorrow night, but my daughter wasn't too upset over it tonight.  She still wasn't feeling well when I told her we weren't going to go.

Overall, not a bad day.  I went grocery shopping at Aldi's tonight because I was tired and trying to hurry.  Normally I shop the sales at the grocery store with the most of what I need on sale.  The only thing I didn't get is coffee, so I need to figure that out.  I've got about enough for 2 more pots, so I may need to resort to tea until Friday.  I had to short the food budget for the week to have gas money for the truck to get back and forth to Justin's work.  We're still working out the kinks in the budget, but we'll get there.  I have never done well at budgeting, but I'm determined to do it right this time around.  It never mattered until I married Justin, he's just awful at keeping track of his spending and we've always had problems paying everything we need to.  That's going to change.

Sunday morning lookin' sunny

I can't think of a song this morning, something about staying up 'til midnight.  I'm not sure why I've been going to sleep so late, but I'm changing it tonight.  I'm also changing a few other things that I'm finally seeing with open eyes.

The little one started feeling better a bit around 6 or so.  He had a yogurt around 4, and asked for another around 6:30, then kept asking for cookies.  I know it wasn't the best for him, but I let him have what he wanted because he was actually eating.  He slept all night in his own bed and we're both feeling better today.

Breakfast was an omelet and 2 slices of toasted light bread. I still need to make coffee.

Weigh in this morning was down 4 lbs from the last time I weighed in on May 15.  Not a stellar loss for 3 weeks, but I'll take it.  I'm getting further from 200 lbs and I'm 2 lbs from being 50 lbs down, so I'm happy.  I could be doing better, but my thyroid issues are slowing me down.

Quiet weekend days

I decided I'm taking it easy today, or rather it was decided for me LOL. 

The boy was sick from about 2 am on, he kept throwing up, but it was never a lot at a time, more like something was gagging him.  He spit up/threw up several times, but we never got him to the bathroom in time because there wasn't enough warning.  I should have had a bowl by the bed, but it didn't occur to me until I actually woke up enough to think instead of just reacting to the sounds..  Justin is at the laundromat now washing my sheets.  The duckie boy has been sleeping off and on all day.  He's barely eaten all day.  I'm feeling sick too, and I've snacked a bit, but I've only had about 800 calories.  I'm debating whether I want to eat something high calorie, since the Greek yogurt I had didn't help settle my stomach.  I have some regular nonfat vanilla that might help, but I'm not up for eating anything else right now.

I'm calmed down about work now.  It'll all work out, if all goes well I won't be working there much longer anyway.

It's now Sunday morning, I'm getting ready to start my first post for today, and noticed that I hadn't hit submit like I thought.  Oops.

Holding it in

The person they finally decided to hire at work? Instead of hiring someone here to help those of us who are swamped, they're hiring someone in Cincinnati. Please excuse the following expletive filled rant. Its either that or turn to chocolate or cry in the middle of the office. I won't namecall, I like my manager as a person but she shouldn't have been put in charge. She's a control freak and loves to take credit for good things we do and spread the blame for things going wrong. All of her employees know she doesn't have our back. We've tried going through the channels and things have just gotten worse. Multiply that by 100x since the merger.

That person who calls herself a manager is lying and doesn't have the fucking balls to stand up for us. I'm so fucking sick of telling her how swamped we are only to be told some bullshit excuse that it'll get better. Its never going to get better until they realize they can't treat their employees like shit and expect morale to stay up. Instead of doing anything logical they're buying more companies. That's fucking insane bullshit. We get more fucking swamped when they give us drop everything projects to help with the original merger but the only ones who get any fucking credit are my manager and supervisor. Really puts it into perspective perspective how important the rest of us are.

Please excuse me while I go cry anyway.

I could hide out under there

I just made you say under where (underwear)?

I do love listening to Barenaked Ladies :D

Yesterday I didn't go on the treadmill or elliptical. I did walk to the library at my first break and took another 10 minute walk at my 2nd break. Total calories for the day: 1259

Justin played a joke on me this morning that really wasn't funny. I made a sandwich for my breakfast - a 100 calorie multigrain English muffin and about 1/2 cup of egg substitute. I left it on the counter while I put in my contacts and put my hair up. When I came back the sandwich was 90% gone and he said it was really good. I started to get emotional then decided I'd just have oatmeal since I used up the last of the muffins and eggs to make that sandwich. I asked him to move from in front of the microwave so I could make oatmeal and he laughtd and pulled the rest of the sandwich out of where he hid it.

That was NOT funny, but it was normal behavior for him when he's rested. Guess I'd better get used to it, I had forgotten after 2 years of newspaper delivery and 3 years of night shift before that. I'm more used to him sleeping constantly.

Already got in one 10 minute walk. This afternoon's snack is yogurt with granola. Weight this morning was 198, I wasn't as careful this weekend as I should have been, but my weight is going in the right direction again. I know I haven't been eating enough to actually gain, but as I said as long as it goes down I'll be happy. Probably no treadmill at lunch. Justin is bringing me a 6" Subway sub. One of the healthy choice ones, but not veggie. He'll probably stay with both kids so we can eat together.

Are you fearless? Are you addicted?

No leftover pasta after all, so lunch is a cucumber sandwich. I've got enough cucumber for a snack this afternoon. I'll put the foods into Spark then see where my calories are. I changed my mind on dinner, its going to be baked fish. I've got 2 lbs of tilapia fillets in the freezer.

Ok everything is in Spark and I'll have to have a snack this afternoon. I put down graham cracker & peanut butter, even so before I go home I'll only be at around 650 calories.

Work has been interesting today, definitely not ordinary. For the first time in awhile, I'm having to work closely with one of the programmers to try to get the system to work the way we want it to. He keeps needing me to show what I'm talking about instead of just walking through it in email. He did ask if I've been recently drug tested when I was trying to explain something but I just laughed at him.

There's a t-ball game tonight, so I'm going to try to exercise before the game. I just didn't want to during lunch today.

Goodbye, Earl

I only managed 11 minutes on the elliptical, partially because I found it much harder than the treadmill, and partially because of my headache.  It's all good, I still got at least 20 minutes of exercise.  I'll try for more tomorrow.

Total calories for the day - 1127

After I ate my stir fry, I ate half of my son's peanut butter toast that he didn't touch.  I should have had an apple instead, but the toast was good and it still didn't put me over in calories.  The stir fry was chicken, green beans, 2 green onions and some mushrooms all cooked with a bit of Garlic & Herb seasoning.  I ate it over 1/2 cup of brown rice. 

Tomorrow, I'll have the egg sandwich again, but instead of peanut butter on a graham cracker, I'll have a strawberry smoothie.  Lunch will be more leftover pasta.  I'm not sure about dinner yet, but the girl has a game, so I'll have to come up with a meal rather quickly.  I've got 2 chicken breasts left, so maybe chicken, broccoli and a baked potato.  That leaves me short one whole grain, so I'll have to do some thinking on that.  Until I talk to the dietitian, I'm loosely following the Food Pyramid's guide for 1200 calories, which means 4 oz whole grains, 1-1/2 cups veggies, 1 cup fruit, 2 servings dairy and 3 oz of meat.  Today I had more than 3 oz of meat, but since I'm tracking my calories on SparkPeople, as long as it averages to that over the course of a week, I'll be okay.

Since I've been miserable with the headache all day, I'm headed to bed early.  Laterness & g'night.

Never let go, every high and every low

Dinner last night was whole wheat pasta with sauce. Lunch today is leftovers. It makes it so easy to be able to use leftovers. When I was following the plan for the phases, I was having to leave the leftovers to Justin, and we were throwing food away. No more. Tonight I either make chicken soup for lunch tomorrow or I have more pasta for lunch tomorrow. We'll see how much is left. I already know dinner tonight is stir fry with 1/2 c brown rice.

The plan is to do 25 minutes on the elliptical at lunch instead of the treadmill to shake things up a bit. I'm going to go for a 10 minute walk as soon as the meeting is done, and I'll do another walk around 3:30.

I decided on only 1 or 2 posts today so just saved the message. Now my walk is done, but I'm not sure how long I'll be able to walk outside. It's only 83 and I overheated. It'll be too hot when the 100 degree days start.

I came to work with a headache this morning and the stuff I took isn't helping. I can't take more because it says once every 6 hours. I took a Goody's powder which has the same ingredients as Excedrin. Hopefully the headache goes away, otherwise its going to suck being at work til 5:30. Blah :(