Realizations

I realized during my time on the treadmill why I lost my motivation. It wasn't just that I couldn't keep up with Allan's challenge. The diet shake up for Phase 6 was only part of the excuse to lay off the exercise. I got below 200 lbs. That's been my goal for so many years that I had lost sight of the full picture.

I'm setting a new goal. Its 30 lbs away - my high school weight - coincidentally my pre-pregnancy weight for my first pregnancy. This is going to be harder on me than the last 50 lbs and not just because I'm lighter.

I'm an emotional eater. I think that's obvious by now. If I remember right from eDiets and Dr Sklare's (please excuse me if I'm spelling his name wrong, I can't look it up right now) Emotional Support Center boards, I'll go through some of the same emotions I was shoving down with food as I reach the same weight I was when I first avoided the emotions.

Which means I will go through a lot of emotional pain in the next few months. Maybe additional emotional pain since I still have frequent battles with depression. Yes, I do know the difference between depression and normal sadness. I've felt both.